33 things not to do in Grenada
This list was inspired by a comment on YingYang’s blog. LifeOnARock blogs here and is another American living in Grenada. I’ve never met her. She commented on YingYang’s post about “indecent exposure” in Grenada, saying this:
“When I first arrived in Grenada, I went out and about in St. George’s with camo shorts on. I was warned and threatened to be arrested on the spot for wearing them. I had no idea and I was incredibly embarrassed! I wouldn’t have worn them if I had known, and obviously I haven’t worn them since. People like me need a guide when they arrive that is “What NOT to wear/do/say in Grenada.”
I know how she feels. Even after nearly four years here I have moments where I realize weeks or months after the fact that I have made some horrible faux pas, and that’s why such and such annoying other thing happened. I’m no stranger to living abroad in general, and I’ve immersed myself in the local life since I’ve lived here (more than most foreigners, anyway), but I still feel like it would take me another four years at least to catch everything that goes on around me. (And I’m not going to have those four years, but that is the subject of a future post.)
I remained blissfully unaware of the camo rule for a long time because I don’t have any such clothing. But then one day two guys I used to work with were sitting by the road liming. The first was smoking a spliff, the second was wearing a camo hat, and only the second saw trouble when the police passed. So.
So I wrote a quick and dirty little list. 33 Things Not to Do in Grenada.
These items are in no particular order, but all are rooted firmly in my personal experience. Please be advised, however, that this list is not comprehensive. There are plenty more things one should not do in Grenada, I just figured I should stop at 33. But don’t let these things stop you from visiting because you can find cheap all inclusive vacations to Grenada online. And now…on with the list:
1. Don’t drink the strong (aka white) rum. If you order a rum and coke, specify that you want dark rum. Otherwise you will feel, after one drink, that you have been head-butted by a horse.
2. Don’t wear spaghetti straps to town, especially if you are going to the bank. You probably shouldn’t even wear a sleeveless collared shirt, but I do, because I deplore tan lines on my arms.
3. Don’t tell a Grenadian who makes you laugh that he’s “funny”, because funny means weird, or even queer. Tell him he cracks you up.
4. Don’t wear camo, anywhere, ever. I’ve always thought that this was about the Revolution, but I just recently found out that the same rule holds in Barbados and St. Vincent.
5. Don’t cuss. Of course most people don’t need to be told this, but I did. To make a very long story short, I realized that I use the word “fking” about as loosely as Grenadian men use the word “blasted”.
6. Don’t gossip. Everyone knows everyone. In fact, chances are that the person to whom you are about to spill your guts is the cousin of at least one person in your story.
7. Don’t find yourself in the bus terminal right after secondary school dismissal. I hope this one is self-explanatory, because I really prefer not to go into detail.
8. Avoid talking to any guy who says he wants to “talk” to you. He does not mean that he wants to have a conversation.
9. Don’t go inside the spice market unless you’re prepared to buy some curry or pepper sauce, at least.
10. Don’t go to the fruit and vegetable market unless you have a good idea of what you should pay for produce in Grenada.
11. Don’t litter at the beach, even temporarily. You will be a pariah, and you shouldn’t do it anyway. In fact, don’t litter anywhere in Grenada, and in the highly unlikely event that you encounter a Grenada Dove, leave it alone. It’s endangered.
12. Don’t wear shorts that come more that few inches above your knee. You won’t get in trouble for this, but I personally am not comfortable wearing anything shorter than capris.
13. Don’t leave your electronics in the open air. This is especially true if you’re here for an extended period of time. The sea air will get into your camera, your notebook, whatever, and eventually fill it up with salt, even if it never gets wet.
14. Don’t just bite straight into a roti, unless you know how to eat around bones. You should definitely try a roti though. They’re utterly delicious. I eat mine with a knife and fork, which is about as slick as eating pizza with a corkscrew, but say what.
15. Don’t ask for ketchup. Just don’t. It’s not good for you anyway.
16. Don’t go in a gas station looking for rolling papers.
17. Don’t go to the cruise ship terminal unless you enjoy being harassed by taxi drivers. I try to avoid St. George’s entirely on docking days.
18. Don’t discuss your plans to have all the dogs in the yard neutered. Strangely, Grenadian men will take this as a personal affront to their masculinity. Just call the GSPCA and do it.
19. Don’t wear a sundress or flowy skirt unless you want everyone to think you’re pregnant.
20. Don’t get upset when the barmaid calls you “white girl”. She means it with affection (or at least amusement), or else she wouldn’t call you anything.
21. Don’t leave anything you care about in direct sunlight. In particular, do not hang your chocolate brown, hand-tooled leather handbag near a window. It will never be the same.
22. Don’t leave your soup pot uncovered unless you like to eat crickets.
23. Don’t offer anyone food that was prepared the previous day, or Jah forbid, came out of the freezer.
24. Don’t forget to drink two times as much water as you normally would.
25. Don’t get huffy when your North American dialect is misunderstood. If something seems completely outrageous, slow down and figure it out. Don’t assume you understand anything. (Grenada was a British colony until recently. That’s why they’re so damn polite.)
26. Don’t leave clothing packed away undisturbed for too long, unless you want the ants to eat it.
27. Don’t step on a centipede. But also, don’t be a wuss about the insects. You’re going to see moths the size of bats, so just suck it up.
28. Don’t be afraid of the guy with the upraised cutlass. He’s not an axe murderer, he’s just trimming the verge.
29. Do not eat the tatoo or the manicou. If you must taste something outrageous, let it be iguana.
30. Don’t buy clothes or shoes here.
31. Don’t go to the atm on a payday. They actually run out of cash.
32. Don’t let the women on Grand Anse Beach plait your hair. (OK, go ahead and do it once. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
33. Don’t drink the under-the-table. It’s not alcohol, it’s a hallucinogen.
And there you have it. 33 things not to do in Grenada. I’m sure I forgot something…
Posted on January 15th, 2009 under Grenada • Tags: caribbean, expat, Grenada, lists, living abroad, living in Grenada, LOL, memoir, other blogs, WTF. • 
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January 15th, 2009 at 2:11 pm
ROTFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!
#1. Actually if you must drink white rum I have found it is better to actually shot-glass it and chase with coke than to sip as a mixed drink.
#6. Oh so, so, so true!
#15. And don’t ask for salad dressing that is not plain mayo either.
#18. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Actually maybe Lifeonarock and the other vets can help us all with this.
#29. What?? *shudder* Yuck.
#30. Yay for Old Navy!
#33. Under-the-counter, not under the table. It WILL put you under the table though!
January 15th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I know it’s called under-the-counter, but my subconscious takes over every time I say or type that. Let’s file that one next to “standpipe”, shall we?
January 15th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
The camo rule holds fast for Trinidad and Tobago as well, nevermind they sell it quite blantantly in stores…funny that.
I wish the littering rule held up here as well.
Why can’t you eat Tattoo or manicou? I mean I don’t eat wild meat on the whole but why those two in particular? and why oh why Iguana? What did the poor lil green thing do to you?
But I love ketchup!
Spaghetti strap rule is doing my head in..I just want to know why why why?
There is more I’m sure but I’ll give you time hehe
GirlBlue´s last blog post..Meme trini styleee
January 15th, 2009 at 2:24 pm
@GirlBlue, I have to giggle at you loving ketchup. I thought it was a “rule” that Trinis eat ketchup on everything! Years ago there was a Mario’s Pizza outlet here and they served the pizza with packets of ketchup on the side and Grenadians were all like WTF?
YingYang´s last blog post..Grenada makes Fark.com…
January 15th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
It is a rule deeply ingrained at birth and is reinforced throughout life. It is the trini way…kinda like a roti and a red solo, doubles with slight pepper and crix and cheese
hehehe
GirlBlue´s last blog post..Meme trini styleee
January 16th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
I’ve been trying to come up with at least one more rule, but must say, you’ve done a very good job. White rum shouldn’t be drunk unless you want to reduce the number of your brain cells to a manageable level. No brain surplus is definitely a result of consuming the stuff.
lilalia´s last blog post..Winter Hours
January 19th, 2009 at 5:21 pm
The camo rule in Barbados came about in the late 70s early 80s when we had a few incidents with vagabonds impersonating defense force personnel. looks like it holds all over the caribbean though. interesting!
So agree with #10
interesting about the shorts and the spaghetti straps though. would never have guessed that
January 20th, 2009 at 9:41 am
Manicou is divine and so is keeeetchup.lol
Spaghetti straps? weird one that
February 1st, 2009 at 6:58 pm
This is a great post! I just so happened to stumble upon it today. I’ve been making a list up in my head for the past few months since I’ve been here that I have been meaning to write down.
“1. Don’t drink the strong (aka white) rum. If you order a rum and coke, specify that you want dark rum. Otherwise you will feel, after one drink, that you have been head-butted by a horse.” — I learned this the hard way.
“27. Don’t step on a centipede. But also, don’t be a wuss about the insects. You’re going to see moths the size of bats, so just suck it up.” — This one particularly made me laugh because last night was the first time I did see a moth the size of a bat.
Doesn’t the Spiceland Mall have rules on the door that says “No Sleeveless shirts”? I thought that was odd, and I still don’t really understand why.. It’s so hot here though!
February 14th, 2009 at 3:55 pm
I have been to Grenada 3 times and have lived locally in Boca/Vandome.I call Grenada my paradise Island although I’ve run into a few problems.Because of my long hair there has been some nasty comments made by a few Grenadian women however I just smile and it usually calms things down:) LOL
Honestly there are a few things on ur”what not to do in Grenada” list that I would have to disagree with…such as wearing spaghetti straps in town.I have always worn them in town and have never encountered a problem,not even at the bank.Also Under the counter is a simple mixture of Rum,herbs(bush),spices,green nuts,and so its not a hallucinogen…its simply stronger then the regular rum.
April 30th, 2009 at 5:59 pm
Avoid talking to any guy who says he wants to “talk” to you. He does not mean that he wants to have a conversation. That is so true!
Don’t wear a sundress or flowy skirt unless you want everyone to think you’re pregnant.- Gosh! How true! With these dresses being all the rage now you’d think folks would know better than to assume you are pregnant just by wearing one. However, there have been a few times I’ve gotten preferential treatment from wearing these dresses by the man standing in front of the long supermarket line or the person who would feel obliged to give up their seat for the ‘pregnant lady’.
I don’t get the one with the spaghetti straps though.
Carlana Charles´s last blog post..Better customer service
February 23rd, 2010 at 11:31 am
Oh this is hillarious and very intriguing! Actually, most of the Caribbean has the Camo rule. It’s because only military are allowed to wear it. Most of the food and clothing rules hold true on most islands as well. But why can’t you step on a centipede and why not buy clothes and shoes?
May 19th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Don’t by clothes and shoes…………….. because it is expensive, there are over doing the price thing man..
shorts and the spaghetti straps……..this apply basically for going to the hospital to visit someone or for the emergency wing..
Do not eat the tatoo or the manicou. If you must taste something outrageous, let it be iguana……….The manicou is quiet lovely same as the iguana but for the tatoo not a fan……..And what the hell ketchup………you can’t give me that shit, not even with KFC………Please stay away from the white rum head butt from a horse does not explain it,you will more feel like you have been run over by a car…………Special dark aka FLANKA IS THE THING………..
Under the counter that is hard back man thing…………………
May 29th, 2011 at 5:42 pm
ummmm after living in Brooklyn, NY for the last 14yrs, coming to Grenada was very polor different. It’s been 3 months now and I have sum additions to the “Do Not List”
34: Dont sit at the back of the bus bcz not only is it cramp, but you then have to pass the remaining rows while banging up your knees.
35: Dont buy Tide soap in IGA unless you want to pay around $14 us for a small bottle
36: If you pet or feed stray dogs, the locals will think your a crazy white person and laugh at you because your money, food & time was wasted ( I do it anyway)
37: Dont sit down at the stadium when the national anthem comes on, some chick will cuss you and warn you that you are disrespectfull
38: Mentioned before but needs mentioning again: GRENADIANS KNOW EVERYONE AND LOVE TO HEAR YOUR GOSSISP SO THEY CAN THEN GO SPREAD IT SO DONT TELL YOUR BUSSINESS TO ANYONE. Dont say you were not warned!
39: Dont get offended when you see men pull out and pee just about anywhere on the side of the road or building wall….it’s considered normal…yuck!
40: Slow down when driving outside of St. George, the corners are deadly and the bus driver could care less about your safety
41: Dont leave sugar or anything sweet out…ants will smother that area and crawl into anything (cereal boxes, cookies etc) just put it in the fridge
May 29th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
What a great sense of humour – I love it
Thank you for the advise on the word “funny” I would not have know …. just hope I remember as I fly out next week.
Best wishes and thank you so much for sharing.
Steve